Love hate relationship…

So in the last three weeks I have started a couch to 10K program. I was feeling like I was stuck at point with my work out and I needed more. I thankfully scored a treadmill offline for cheap and now have started this program.
This definitely gives me the push I need and kicks my butt…even so I have this love hate relationship with running. I have never been an runner I’ve not really ever done a race that I’ve run. I do have dreams of being a runner literal dreams that I ran a complete race…so my subconscious would like to be a runner. My body well there’s some hate there with running. My body before having two babies was not really a running body but it was one of the only ways that I would be able to get wt loss really moving. So I knew after hitting my wall I needed to get running. My body now really is not sure if this is something we should be doing. Now after being about three weeks in I think we are moving closer to a love relationship. Not as many aches and pains and I’m starting to get some results just feeling stronger and successful.
With that said I despise running what is the point if someone or thing is not chasing you. Just for fun…ugh not sure I can get past that mindset. I hope I do because if I can keep this program up my body might get back to my prewedding size which is when I felt really good about how I looked. Here’s to sucking it up and doing what’s good for you..

Being grateful!

It has been awhile since I posted anything but life has just been busy and hectic. Who knew my life would consist of two children, a husband recovering from neck surgery and an uncle who is slowly deteriorating. Even though this life is crazy and many times stressful I am still so grateful for all of it.
In today’s world people want to focus on poor me and feel bad for what is happening in my life. But what good does that do anyone. Self pity is never useful. I am grateful even though my kids wake up in the middle of each night and I get little sleep. This means they are here with us and have a strong voice there are many parents who no longer have their kids to wake them up at night.
I am grateful that my husband is here to complain about not being able to go to work or us not spending enough time together. He was millimeters away from not being with us. (Its been 3 months since I started this post and I’m grateful my husband recovered quickly and is back to work!)
I am grateful for my dad who stops over to just be with my kids while my husband is at work so I can get dishes done or laundry done.
In the last week I have had to attend a funeral of a young father of one of my students and a son of one of my kids teachers. During a time that most will celebrate family and getting together these two families will try to figure out how to move forward with out their loved ones. Be grateful for what you have and thoughtful of those who are not so fortunate! Happy Thanksgiving!
 

Unfailing love

So yesterday for most people was like any other day. For one family I have just had the pleasure of getting to know it was a year since they lost a young member of their family.
I had heard about the accident that had taken this young man’s life a year ago. I just remember thinking how horrible and how possibly could this family deal with such a loss. At that time I did not know his family and this year I am working with his mom and have had the pleasure of meeting his sister.
The first time I met Kollin’s mom she talked about him and referenced things about him. I was not sure how to react or really know what to say. I have grown to understand and love to hear stories about Kollin. This young man had devoted his life to God and everyone knew his faith. I have come to find that his faith as well as the faith of his family has gotten everyone through the pain of missing him. Yesterday his mom was at work which I understood. The kids at school helped ground her as well as being such a small community you could just feel the love as kids and teachers streamed in to give her hugs. The one thing she said that just really made me stop and think was….how could I wish to have him back when that would mean he would leave a beautiful place he has strived to get to and where we all want to be some day. That is just selfish of me. It is our job to raise our kids to be good people and to help them one day reach heaven. And we need to live everyday with our loved ones with out regrets or things I should have said.  She has said I have no regrets about Kollin’s life.
Kelly is one of the most inspiring faithful women I have come across. I am always so enlightened by the things she has to share and hope to be able to put these things to work in my life for my family.
This families unfailing love in God and the work He does is amazing!

Exhaustion

Well I have had to take longer time off from my workouts than I wanted to. My hip pain was just not giving up so about a week off and I’m feeling better.
So today I was motivated and ready to get back to it.  Well my two year old and my energy level were battling against me. Usually Addy will play with her special toys that don’t fit in our living room while I work out. Then she stretches with me after.  Well today she has to go to the bathroom twice and by the time we resolved those issues it was bathtime and  then time to feed the baby and get him to bed. Then Addy to bed and now its 9 o’clock and I’m just exhausted. 
I am not sure how some mom’s do this and get back into shape so soon  after baby. I know some were in better shape before baby so that helps for sure.  But now I remember why it took me over a year to get in shape after Addy.  She was finally sleeping and I had time.
I guess I just nees to try again tomorrow.  I know some may say why are you blogging and not working out. Well I need to be up early to get  be to work early in the morning and Logan will be up at least twice tonight. I am just lacking sleep and energy. I’m pretty sure aa soon as I hit post on this I will be sleeping.
Tomorrows another day for another try!

New Year New Me?! Nope just a better version!

So many people in the new year have resolution to work out and get skinny. Well I am not making a resolution like that this year first of all I have never been skinny and dont really aspire to that I just want to be healthy. But should that be a resolution or a lifetime goal.
I know society has made women feel like they are flawed if they dont meet the standard for what women should look like. Well we need to start fighting back and telling them what we want to see and that we are proud of who we are. I have had two children and have struggled with weight all my life. But that struggle was because I always aimed to be something that was going to be impossible to achieve. Having read a couple blogs the last two weeks about loving the skin your in and being thankful for what you have that is where I’m starting. My two beautiful children grew in my body and changed me for the better. I would give my life for those two loves and of course my body had to change so they could grow. So I need to be accepting of that and not resentful.
And having a daughter I want her to love who she is and not want to be something society says she should be. The only way she will learn to love herself is if I show her that I love myself. I know that will be a struggle at times but I need to do it for her. This world is getting tougher to grow up in and she needs a good base to start. So my goal this year is to be a better version of myself. I dont want to change who I am just improve things.
Not only do I want to improve my body but my mind and relationships as well. I want to do more of my bible readings, go to church more,get baptized and improve my relationship with my husband and other family members. 
So I have a lot of work a head of me but it is all worth it!  And since I have started this blog to keep track of some workouts I will end with an update. I have taken the last two days off due to pain in my hip. Tonight i did a small work out i have downloaded on my kindle for about 15mins just to keep in the routine. Im hoping my hip feels better tomorrow so i can get back to insanity!

Recovery

Well thank goodness today was a recovery day with Insanity!  I had a rough day. I had to say good bye to a long time friend who left this world too soon. I was not sure I really wanted to workout but I needed to push through. Both my kids were in bed at a decent time so I just needed to do it.
Thankfully it was a recovery day where it was stretching and yoga which still was a good work out. I have some pain in my hip so it qas good to take it easy.  I need to rest up my hip I think for a bit. I may need to take a break for a few days which I am not happy about but I can’t afford to make things worse. We will see what tomortow brings.  The fun part is that I feel like my legs are getting stronger.

Decide Committ Succeed!

So I got back to Insanity today. Phew I’m glad that’s over. I struggled through that one that is for sure. All I keep thinking is one day I will get through all these videos without taking breaks or feeling like my body is going to fall apart.
As I was going through todays I realized that if I can keep this up for two weeks I’ll be in the habit of doing it and then really two more weeks and I will almost have my first month in. I know I can do this. The other thing which is just random was to really get the most benefit from any work out you really need to get your core in check. It really makes a different as to how I feel my workout went.  So video three down and I have decided to stay committed so I can succeed!

Something better than nothing

I feel as if I should blog about my workouts now so that I can stay on track. It makes me feel like I’m accountable to someone or thing I guess. I dont expect anyone to read these but if you do thanks it will keep me even more motivated to keep on.
   Todays workout was not what i wanted it to be. I was hoping to move on to day two of insanity but I was not mentally ready to push my body like I had to yesterday. My day ended with a screaming crying two yr old who tipped over her potty chair (thank god only water was in it)  then while throwing a fit about having to change clothes she wacks her head on her bed and is screaming.                   So after getting her settled and back to bed it was 9:30 and I was spent. I really just wanted to go to sleep since my 5month old didnt sleep last night. But I pushed through and decided that I at least needed to get on my elliptical. 
  So I did a preset workout that challenged me and said it burned 400 calories so I feel good about at least doing something even if it wasn’t insanity. I just needed to have the mental energy to really push myself and that was not going to happen. Something is better thsn nothing right!?

Insanity

So the meaning of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.  Well the insanity I’m referring to is the work out craze.
Having had two children now I struggled trying to figure out how in the world I would work, take care of my family and then find time to get myself into shape.  After mh daughter it took me almost a year to get into a workout. I was finally starting to lose the weight from her and found out I wad pregnant again. I felt nervous for various reasons and one was that I could not wait a year after I had my son to get moving again. During my pregnancy it was hard for me to do more than walking if I could do that because I was sick for so long.
So now Logan is 5 months and I’m two weeks into to a workout. I’ve started slow again on my elliptical but felt much stronger tha  i did after my daughter so i knew i was going to need to do more to spark some good results. Soooo thankfully my sister in law has let me borrow her Insanity workout.
I started it yesterday with the fit test that kicked my butt and I was a little sore. But today i started the real deal and seriously holy insane. My legs feel like the could fall off and i could hardly walk up stairs. I fear how i will be tomorrow but yet i love that feeling. It makes me feel like i am dokng something. Granted there were thjngs that i was just too exhausted to do but that makes an instant goal for me that the next time i need to push myself so i cam do the parts i struggled with. I am hoping to keep this up for the two months or more.
So my legs hurt,  my arms hurt and I’m exhausted and I want more I guess that is insane!

Stolen identity!

In today’s society we all may have a fear about our identity being stolen by someone wanting our finacial information. Even though this is the topic we all may think of when we hear stolen identity, I challenge you to think about this differently. What about the identity of the chidren an youth in our society.

There are so many things in society that can alter our children and not always for the best ways. The culture of todays world is that you should never be happy with who you are,  you need to constantly compare yourself to some standard.  I know our country has a problem with obesity but it also has a problem portraying the true form of men and woman. Magazine covers altered to show ultra thin girls, or super buff men, runway models who starve themselves or hollywood stars who are not good role models but will get people to buy the magazines.

Parents must work double time to help their children navigate the good bad and ugly. Then if you are going to raise your child to be a Christian,  to have a belief in a higher power this can get even more complicated. Today’s general population does not always have a great view of Christians.  We are either too in your face or too aloof about our values and beliefs. Now I know I have a long way to go with my faith and walk with God. But I want my children to have solid beliefs that if questioned they can stand their ground. I just worry that society will try and take that from them.

Just like kids want to try and fit in with eachother by wearing cool clothes or getting the latest cellphone they want to fit in by not always exposing themselves as a Christian.  I struggled with this even as an adult. I have been gaurded with whom I share my faith with. Society has said it’s not ok to talk about your faith or be too churchy. As I have grown in my faith I met people who have taught me to not be afraid to talk about my beliefs. That it is ok to share my faith as that maybe what some people may need and if not I should not hide who I am.

I hope I can show this to my children and they can grow stong in thier faith and stand up against what society has deemed as the right way to look, dress,  think and believe.