The parenting box

Everyone has their ideas of what a good parent should be. Some people think their kids need to be involved to the max so there is no time to get into trouble. Others feel kids need their freedom and should have the chance to make their own mistakes and learn from them. And there’s people somewhere in the middle. In the past few days I have really been trying to figure out where I fit on this spectrum. I know I want my kids to be loved and be able to trust me enough to share whats happening in their lives even if it makes me cringe. I want them to develop into who they were meant to be not who I want them to be.
I have the great opportunity to work with people in all walks of life. My job has showed me the good bad and the ugly of parenting. One teacher I worked with had a daughter who said to him at the age of 10. “Dad, do you think your parenting is screwing us up”. Wow!  We had a good laugh but that has stuck with me. This little girl was pretty insightful at her age. But really is this what I am doing, some how screwing up who God intended my kids to be.
Yesterday I had to work with a parent who’s daughter OD’d on some meds and my heart broke for him and her. What was she needing that she was not getting to take things to that point. One teacher involved with this student made a comment that “we as parents many times want our kids to fit into our box and forget that these little people may have come from us but are not us”. We may want them to love the things we do but they will have their own passions. Our job is to guide them, give them the tools they need to survive lifes challenges. We need to help them grow into who they are meant to be not who we wish we could be again if we could do it all over!
I hope I can hold on to this and remember it when my kids are challenging me. Is it a challenge because they need guidance and more tools for life or am I trying to fit them into my box. 

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4 thoughts on “The parenting box”

  1. I have thought of these struggles myself at times. Sometimes I even see parents who seem completely wonderful and yet their kids don’t seem to growing into good people at all. It scares me to think of the struggles my child will face no matter how hard I try to do everything right in raising him. I also know worry about how I will deal with it when he makes choices that I believe are wrong for him…

    1. I think sometimes working in s school makes these thoughts worse for me. I think what woyld I do if my child was struggling. Could I do the right thing. I pray that I will!

  2. Nice Rhonda!! Being a parent sets us up for the biggest challenge of our lives. We have to trust that we are doing the best we can and not look back! Thanks for this!!

  3. Very insightful! As a parent sometimes we get consumed by the desire to be the best parent that we can be that we lose perspective and forget that no one really has it figured out. We learn to go on faith and love. Two of the strongest elements/ ingredients we have to work with and pray that our little people grow into some pretty awesome adults. 🙂 Well written. Can’t wait to read more!

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